Bringing home Boy!

Bringing home a baby boy is so exciting and fun! You are a new mommy/1st time parent and you have no clue what this sweet precious baby boy has waiting for you. You strap him in to his new snug ride Graco car seat, the nurse comes out and double checks that you did it right, and away you go. just curious, How did we ever survive before car seats, BTW??? Anyway you drive home, probably 10-15 miles under the speed limit, full of excitement wonder and the joy of having your little future athlete in the back seat! You get home take some cute we are a family of 3 pics at your front door, Something we opted out of BTW, and you enter your home! You walk in and sit down only to realize your sweet bundle of joy doesn't smell so sweet any more. Scary thought but your kind of excited cause its the 1st diaper change in your home, with your stuff in his new room! HA HA HA. SO here we go.....
 As most new moms of boys find out VERY early on this is not just a diaper change but a medical procedure and it kind of feels like you are on a game show trying to beat the clock and dodging flying objects. Let me explain.... Part one Medical procedure, well as 65% of Americans who have sons are now coming home with a circumcised baby boy, you now get to play Dr. and take care of this new Raw boy. They do this right as you are leaving the hospital, probably so they can laugh at us new parents. They hand you baby boy and all they tell you is use lots of Vaseline and gauze. Literally those were our instructions?????, COME ON this is only my sons future manhood I am taking care of here you would think they would give some better care advise. Well NO! So you peel off the Dirty diaper, and the gauze that by now is stuck to his boy parts and you freak cause its got blood on it( this is normal ladies) and Remember this is your 1st Rodeo with a boy! You proceed to Wipe his butt and all is going well when WHAM it hits you!!!! Pee in the face on the walls and Yes ladies in your Hair! HOW, WHY, WHAT THE DEVIL!!!!! Yes with Both of my boys within 15 min of having them home they had both pooped and peed on me and my walls! Yes those boys are regular pee machines but more on that later. So once the Shock wears off , you dry off baby, get the new diaper ready and attempt to doctor his boy parts, all the time praying you dont hurt him or damage it! It happens again you didnt wait long enough and out comes more poo. You get the another new diaper on, clean up the mess that this precious gift has made and retreat to the couch to relax! HA HA HA WRONG time to Feed! And so begins the viscous cycle! But Ladies you know what over the next 2 years you learn to change diapers faster then a tire changer at a NASCAR Race, and you become a Pro at boy body functions. Life returns to simi normal over those few Years or in my case 4 1/2 Years then WHAM your having ANOTHER boy!!!!
Breath Ladies! Breath!!!! Boy # 2 you got this, your a pro at boys!!! Then along with the hormones you are flooded with other emotions, about baby boy #2 that you never expected.
Tune in Tomorrow for more on those feelings! ( warning that will be a more serious blog) I plan to make most funny but sprinkle in blogs on the emotions and feelings that we moms of boys face and are often scolded for having!